John 14:1-3 (NLT): “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.

I was born on my mother’s birthday. We had a close relationship throughout most of my life. When Alzheimer’s began to exact its changes on her she came to live with me in the suburbs. For over 8 years I fought valiantly to keep her with my family (my youngest son was 2 when she moved in, oldest was 4).

The disease worked on her brain to make her forget how to walk up the stairs, and eventually how to communicate. By the time I found a good nursing home she had not called my name for about 3 years.  She did not know it. 

A few years after this move, a Christmas song was released about a little boy trying to buy some special shoes for his mother who was ill and who was going to meet Jesus. When I first heard the song, I cried heartfelt tears.  It reminded me of a Christmas when I was 10 years old. We were really quite poor. My dad won a 22-pound turkey from work for Christmas. We did not even have a roasting pan large enough to cook it. My mom, brother and I walked several blocks in the cold and snow to a Woolworth store (pre-1970’s) to purchase a roaster. I was excited. I had priced a pair of earrings I wanted to buy my mom for her gift. They were $2.35 – I had exactly the right amount! I had not counted on taxes.  As I stood in line on the verge of tears, an older lady in line behind me paid the tax and wished me Merry Christmas and God’s blessings. A real like Christmas miracle! It was the kind of thing my mother would do. I thought that was the only reason for my tears when I heard that song.

Over the next years, the song was one I avoided to hold my tears in check.  My mother’s health began to fail. She was not doing very well. The day before Christmas eve in 2011, I got the call on my way home from work.  Come soon, she is not breathing well. I gathered my boys and my husband, and we went to the nursing home. In her private room we said prayers, kissed her good-bye, sang a few songs and let her know we loved her. Around 11:00pm I sent them home. While my sons were not babies any more, just being there was enough for them to experience the impact of losing a person close to them.

I sat with my head on her pillow. I laid her hand on my face and played that song because I knew Mama was going to meet Jesus tonight. And yes, I cried some more. About 1:00am on Christmas eve morning, the Lord calmed my heart and I dozed off, tears running over my face on her pillow.  At about 3:00am her hand fell away and I knew: At 3:00am on Christmas eve morning 2011, Jesus had answered my prayers.  He sent His angels to collect my mother so she would not be afraid and to deliver her to Him directly.

Through all the years I tried to help my mother deal with life through Alzheimer’s we battled a broken hip, wandering away from my house, 3 bouts with cancer and numerous overnight stays at the hospital for blood transfusions. I will not share the wife, mother, worker portion of that season of my life. Not easy, not cheap, not always smooth.

God always let me know – “let not your heart be troubled”, “do not be afraid”. Directly and indirectly, He held my hand and hers as we journeyed to her last meeting with Jesus that night.

And while she did not know my name, or who I really was – she knew I was someone “special” who always came to hold her hand and to tell her do not be afraid.

My Christmas joy is not the same. My smile is a little lopsided now because ‘my little darlin’ went to meet Jesus on Christmas eve. But the love she gave and taught and showed throughout her life helped me to serve and love in the name of Jesus.   

I pray for all reading this love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, gentleness, patience, self-control and faithfulness.

Prayer: Father God in heaven I love You. I love Your answers to my prayers. I love Your love for me and my family. I love that while I am in the greatest point of pain and anxiety You always send me Your peace. Thank You Jesus for allowing me to be Your friend. Thank You for sending Your angels to bring my mama to You. I ask in the name of the one who said do not be afraid that everyone who is going through loss of any kind, grief of any kind, heart ache of any kind that You send Your Holy Spirit to sit beside them, hold their hand and let them know that You keep Your promises – If they believe in You their loved ones will be with You. Amen.